inFrequently Answered Questions

Here at SUCK Films we are interested in more then cheese and beer. We’re also about learning, teaching, and growing. To that end we have established the SUCK inFrequently Answered Questions to help our members and visitors with any questions they may have. That way you can read what you want to know and we can go back to our drinks. A real win-win situation.


What kind of idiots thought this up?

That would be the SUCK Founders.

What’s with this “SUCK” buisness?

It’s an acronym.
SUCK Films . Org =


If you think about it, it works out a lot better then SCUFF (Seattle’s Cheesy Underground Film Forum) or SCFC (Seattle Cheesy Film Club). It lets us say things like:

“Do you SUCK?”
“Want to join SUCK?”
“You going to SUCK this Tuesday?”
“Have you seen those SUCK girls?”
“Join and become our next SUCKer!”
“The first Tuesday of the month sure does SUCK!”

What the heck is “Kinetoscopic” anyway?

Kineto is from the greek word meaning “movement.”
Scopic is from the greek word meaning “involving an instrument used to see.”

The kinetoscope was Edison’s early motion-picture machine in which the film passed behind a peephole for viewing by a single viewer.

Kinetoscopic more or less means “having to do with a kinetoscope.” It also happens to start with a “K” and is vaguely involved with early attempts at film making. That made it useful for finishing off the SUCK acronym.

Sure we eventually came up with other “K” options, but those weren’t as cheesy as the one we developed while drinking, and that counts for a lot around here.

To put it another way: only Kinetoscopic SUCKed hard enough to be a part of SUCK.

How did this whole thing get started anyways?

Great question, I’m glad you asked it!

It all started a long time ago in a land far far away… One of your SUCK Founders (who will remain nameless) took to hosting Cheesy moving nights at his place. He’d invite a bunch of friends over, throw on a collection of the best bad Bruce Willis movies ever made, order some Pizza, throw a Sh*t Ton of beer in the fridge, and invite over everyone he knew.

It was good times.

Then he moved to Seattle, made new friends, and got drunk with a few of them one night sitting at a church door (it was the table… but that’s another story.) While drunk they hit upon the idea of bringing back the Cheesy movie night. Soon SUCK Films was founded and proved to be a big hit among the cheesy movie connoisseurs of the city.

After a while too many people showed up for the films then could easily fit in a small apartment, or even a big apartment (not that any the SUCK Founders have a big apartment) and so a new home was needed for the glorious screenings… A bar was rented so that everyone who wanted to come and SUCK could, and the rest is history.


What’s SUCK’s Privacy Policy?

The official policy on privacy is this:

A person’s drinks are their own business.

Beyond that we don’t condone any extra effort that takes away from our drinking time. If someone were to ask us for any personal info on our membership… well that would be a distraction from drinking. Obviously looking for someone to give or sell personal info to would be an even larger distraction from drinking. To that end we refuse to give out or sell any of our member’s info unless someone were to legally force us to give out that info. There aren’t many good bars in jail after all.

Shouldn’t it be “Frequently Asked Questions?”

Given how often we drink? I think you’ll find “inFrequently Answered Questions” to a much more apt title. And yes, I do know that “inFrequently” isn’t capitalized in a strictly correct way… I like it better this way.


How can you support all this drinking with all the harm it causes! Aren’t you just encouraging a terrible habit and addiction?

Short Answer: No we aren’t.

Long Answer:
We’ll have to quote an expert on this one:

We are still heartily of the opinion that decent libation supports as many million lives as it threatens; donates pleasure and sparkle to more lives than it shadows; inspires more brilliance in the world of art, music, letters, and common ordinary intelligent conversation, than it dims.

– Charles Henry Baker, Jr.

Why all this focus on drinking?

Ever try to sit through The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension sober? These aren’t the kinds of movies one watches while operating at peek mental awareness. One must drowned their logical portions of the brain in drink if they are to remain sane(ish).

In fact, this isn’t the kind of website one makes while sober. Look at this nasty color scheme? It’s terrible!

In fact, the whole idea of starting a club to watch bad movies and giving it some big fancy message board and website with various bells and whistles… it’s all the kind of idea one only has while drinking Pimms cups and hard cider into the wee hours of the morning.

Are you guys alcoholics or something?

Alcoholics go to meetings.
Lushes go to bars.
Drunks go get wasted every night.
Your SUCK Founders take it to the next level:

• The Drinkmaster has his mail forwarded to a pub.
Tom Hat was a keyholder for a bar he’s never worked at.
Weblord Brian knows shots that are banned from Kells.
Movie Man Dan pays his actors in beer.